I just returned from a trip to the Great Smoky Mountains where my friend from Duke and I camped for 4 days in the gracious mountains of Tennessee. No internet, no cell phone, and sadly, no showers. Of course aside from roasting marshmallows and hiking, there were some strong learning moments.
After spending 96 hours straight with this friend, we realized that we had quite a bit of conflicts in our value systems. Bluntly, I thought a lot of what he did was absolutely ridiculous, and he felt the same way about me. We each wanted the other to conform and do things “my way.”
After some arguing, I learned a very important lesson: what you think may make perfect sense in your mind, but someone else will look at it completely differently. While we may truly believe that our way is the right way, it is ineffective to tirelessly argue with others to change their ways. In fact, it just upsets and insults them.
Instead, I found it was much more effective to simply respect each others differences. Compromising and trying new things is a must, and doing so confirms what a person’s true passions and values are. We each watched and listened to each other, ultimately taking away new perspectives. In doing something like this, some people may end up adjusting their values by their own choice based on observations – this is the key!
Everyday, we encounter differences in values, principles and passions. Instead of always arguing with people to change, it is so much more effective to respect each others differences, learn from them and ultimately grow from understanding them.